A Clean Conscience

How many times in my life have I experienced food guilt? There are probably not enough fingers and toes in the state of Iowa to count.

When I was a teenager, I was a dedicated dancer at my ballet school. I danced as a student for eight to ten hours per week, taught pre-ballet and fundamentals classes for eight to ten hours per week, and during performance seasons, I rehearsed for eight to ten hours per week. Despite this, I constantly struggled to manage my weight, developed allergies, and fought strep throat on a regular basis. I told myself that it was just my body type, I had a sluggish thyroid, I wasn't meant to be a ballerina. . . . . . . but I knew, deep down that I was lying to myself.

You see, just a block away from the ballet school was the candy store - a daily stop on my way to class, or after rehearsal, or between dancing and teaching. Gummy bears, fruit slices, strawberry Cokes, and chocolate milkshakes were my particular weaknesses. They also made a killer grilled cheese sandwich - processed cheese product on white bread. Guilt, guilt, guilt. These things do not make up the diet of champions; or prima ballerinas for that matter.

In college, it was doughnuts, iced sugary coffee drinks and the vending machine. Guilt, guilt, guilt. Post college, it was fruity drinks and lemon drops, coffee loaded with sugar and flavored creamer, and lots of soda. Guilt, guilt, guilt, and more guilt.

What gets me the most about my guilt years, is that there was no ignorance involved. It's not as if I didn't know everything I ate was loaded with sugar. It's not as if I was under the impression that these 'foods' were healthy and/or good for me. I just wanted to pretend that eating and drinking the white death was OK, and that there must be something else that was to blame for my deteriorating health and constant weight gain.

Well, it's taken me nearly 20 years to get from one end of a sugar addiction to the other. I won't pretend for a minute that I'm 'cured'. I still crave sweets. . . . but I no longer lie to myself and say that it's not the sugar that affects my health and weight. I don't find myself looking around to see who is watching when I eat. My conscience is clean - the food guilt is gone.

My new favorite night of the week is Tuesday night - I watch my favorite TV shows, and enjoy homemade chocolate ice cream sans guilt.

JamiK's Chocolate Ice Cream
(adapted from MomK's ice cream recipe which I found too icy and not enough creamy)
Blend:
1 quart half & half
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1/2 cup of local honey
2 heaping tablespoons of cocoa

Pour it into an ice cream maker and churn away. Every machine is different. . . . . about 40 minutes gets me soft serve quality ice cream. I usually put it in the freezer for another half hour to make it a bit more frozen. Enjoy!

Keep your conscience clean,
Avoid Sugar!

JamiK